Sermons
Greet One Another With A Holy Kiss
Greetings
I. Introduction
There is a command that is repeated at least 5 times in the New Testament, but we generally overlook it. Can you think of what it might be?
Rom. 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. …
1 Cor. 16:20 … Greet one another with a holy kiss.
2 Cor. 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
1 Thes. 5:26 Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.
1 Pet. 5:14 Greet one another with the kiss of love. …
Why do you suppose this was repeated five times? What do we normally say about this passage? “Well, that was just their custom.” If it was just their custom, why would they need to be commanded to do it? In the case of the Corinthians, commanded twice.
Let me say up front that I do believe a good case can be made that the kiss itself was their manner of greeting. But even if we decide that is the case, does that mean this command has no bearing on us?
I believe that it does. I believe we need to hear it just as much as they did, and that in fact we fall short of keeping it.
So let’s talk about this “greet one another” command. What’s the “holy kiss”? What’s so important about greetings? How does this apply to us?
- Kissing
- Greeting
- Applying
II. Kissing
In America, around here at least, one of the first things we learn about kissing is that you need to be sitting in a tree. For me, it has almost always been a romantic expression. Growing up, my family didn’t do a lot of kissing. Kisses were for moms and dads, and maybe for a girlfriend if you could work up the nerve.
Now things were different in Sarah’s family. I found this out on our wedding day. When the wedding was over, we were standing there in the receiving line as people came by, almost all of whom I did not know. Maybe you can imagine my surprise when quite a few of the men kissed my new wife—on the mouth! Those were family. Uncles, cousins I guess. I don’t know. That’s how it’s done up there. Very hard for me to get used to.
Well, just like customs are different in Vermont than in Tennessee, they also vary even more from one culture to another around the world and from time to time throughout history. So let’s see what we can find out about kissing in the Bible.
First of all, they did have the K-I-S-S-I-N-G kind of kissing, just like we do:
Song 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;
But actually, that’s not the most common kind of kissing we find. In fact, it’s almost rare in Scripture.
Usually, kissing is a type of greeting. From what I have read, it was often on the cheek. You see this a lot in Easter cultures.
It’s often mentioned among family members:
Gen. 27:26 Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come near and kiss me, my son.”
Gen. 29:13 As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister's son, he ran to meet him and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban all these things,
Gen. 31:55 Early in the morning Laban arose and kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned home.
Gen. 33:4 But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.
Etc., etc. You get the idea. This kissing was not at all a romantic kind of thing, but was instead apparently a very warm, affectionate greeting.
Now that doesn’t mean that everyone did it sincerely. David’s son Absalom was apparently a schmoozer:
2 Sam. 15:4-6 Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
And I suppose there have always been people who were 2-faced, who would act really glad to see you, but then stab you in the back.
Prov. 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
The most famous example of this, of course, is from the New Testament:
Matt. 26:48-50 Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.” 49 And he came up to Jesus at once and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” And he kissed him. 50 Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do.” Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him.
So hopefully this give us a good idea of what it means to kiss someone as a greeting in the Bible times. It was probably on the cheek, and when done sincerely, was an affectionate greeting.
III. Greeting
Now with that in mind, let’s look at the instructions to Christians along these lines.
The primary command seems to be simply to greet one another. Notice:
Heb. 13:24 Greet all your leaders and all the saints. Those who come from Italy send you greetings.
Titus 3:15 All who are with me send greetings to you. Greet those who love us in the faith. Grace be with you all.
Greetings were a big part of many of the NT letters. Greetings were sent from Christians in one place to those in another. People do this today. When I go somewhere, people will often say, “tell so-and-so hello for me” or “tell your parents I say hello.” To go back to the difference between Sarah’s family and mine, when she’s out of town she will often say, “give the kids a big hug and a kiss from me.” I think hugs will be sufficient.
But what is the point of that? It lets that person know you are thinking about them and that you love them or care for them. In Romans 16, nearly the whole chapter is filled with Paul’s greetings to the Christians in Rome. He uses the word “greet” 25 times.
But not only does he send his greetings to them, he tells them to greet each other.
Rom. 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.
Here’s our holy kiss. What’s holy about it? We don’t have any other instructions, but I think it’s clear that it’s holy because it is between brethren. It is a special greeting, not because of anything unique about the kiss itself, but because it is shared by fellow Christians. It recognizes the unique bond we have.
I am hesitant to say anything that would change such a clear command, but it does seem clear to me that what is important is the warm greeting itself, not so much that it be done with a kiss, which is clearly not our custom at all. Similar to washing feet, it seems to me (and obviously most Bible students) that the principle is what is important. But do we get the principle?
Notice he says, “greet one another.” That’s almost a little strange when you think about it. We often say, “tell everyone there I said hello.” But we would never say, “tell everyone there to say hello to each other.”
I think Paul and the other apostles emphasize this greeting one another precisely because it wouldn’t necessarily have been the natural thing. When you think about the extremely diverse mix of people in the early churches, Jews, Gentiles, men, women, rich, poor, masters, slaves, etc., greeting one another, especially in such a personal way, would perhaps not have been the easiest thing to do.
In fact, we know that in some places like Corinth, the church had divided up into competing factions. But by emphasizing this greeting of one another, it would reinforce their family bond as brothers and sisters in the Lord. They would have to set aside their differences and be united. Like family:
2 Cor. 13:11-13 Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. 12 Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13 All the saints greet you.
Paul uses the idea of family. John emphasizes the idea friendship. Notice how John words his instruction about greetings:
3 John 1:15 Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends, each by name.
Isn’t it great that he can refer to fellow Christians with the simple word, “friends.” We’re family. We’re friends. We should greet each other that way. And notice he says, “each by name.” Recognize everyone. Say their name.
Now one more point before we make some applications. To show how significant this greeting was, consider one passage that warns against greeting certain people:
2 John 9-11 Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, 11 for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.
That shows us something important about the greeting involved. This was more than just a “hello.” The greeting was such that it implied that we are family, we are friends, we are united. Therefore, to share such a greeting with a false teacher was to encourage or support him, or at the very least to make it seem that you are in agreement.
Now, how does all this apply to us today?
IV. Applying
A. Kiss?
First, as I said, I think the kissing part of this is something that is cultural. Now I say that with a bit of hesitation, simply because I don’t want to be guilty of just erasing part of the inspired word of God. But it seems clear to me that what is important is the principle of the thing, not the actual form of the greeting. However, I encourage everyone to study it for yourselves as well. Don’t take my word for it.
B. Greeting
But what is the principle? What I gather from it is this: Christians should extend a warm, personal greeting to each other. John says greet each other by name, and I’m sure that would apply today as well. In other words, this is more than just a nod of the head or a smile. A greeting.
Think for a moment about how important such greetings are in our culture today. I’m sure everyone has heard something like this multiple times: “You’ll never guess who I saw in Wal-Mart the other day. But you know, they didn’t even speak. They saw me and kept right on walking without even saying hello.”
We take that as an offense, don’t we? It reminds me of a Jerry Clower story. He tells about Claude—I think it was—starting a moving company. And one of their first jobs was to move a piano from an upstairs room. But you couldn’t get it through the door and down the stairs inside, so he attached a board to the roof and put a pulley on it, then tied a rope around the piano, out the window, around the pulley, and down to the ground where Neugene was holding the other end of it. As he eased the grand piano out of the big picture window, he yelled to Neugene to let it down easy. But as soon as it cleared the ledge, down it went and up went Neugene. The piano crashed into a million pieces and Neugene hit the pulley, then down he went flat on his back on top of the busted piano. Claude hurried down and bent over him calling, “speak to me! Speak to me.” But Neugene replied, “why should I speak to you? I just passed you twice, and you didn’t even say hello.”
That’s the way we are isn’t it? We take greetings more seriously than you might think.
What about when we come together here as a congregation? Have you heard someone say, or maybe you’ve said this yourself, “you know so-and-so doesn’t even speak to me. She just walks right by”?
We take that personally. It’s important that we greet one another. Sincerely, warmly. Show that we are family. We are friends.
Why do we fail to greet each other sometimes like we should?
C. Impediments
1. Not paying attention
If you’re like me, it may be because you’re in your own world. Sometimes I have a lot on my mind, and I walk right past people without speaking. Somebody called me out on that in college once. They took offense, and I had no idea I had even done it. Well you know what? We can’t afford to be in our own little world. Our own little world is occupied by one person: me. We have to open our eyes and think of others around us.
Phil. 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
2. Cliques
Another problem is that maybe we have our own little clique or group of friends that we speak to, and ignore others. Jesus addresses this kind of problem:
Matt. 5:46-47 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
If you just speak to your little group of friends, that’s being just like the world. Everyone is nice to people they’re especially fond of. But we have to reach out and great EACH of the brothers. By name.
Now if we were in a church of 600 people, that would be a real challenge. But there’s no excuse for our little group for not knowing every person here by name and greeting them.
3. Shy
Someone may say, “well I’m just shy.” Sometimes people go out of their way to avoid the greetings. Greetings take place before and after services, and some people intentionally get here just right on time and then slip out as soon as it’s over.
If you’re nervous because you’re new and don’t know everyone, that’s understandable. But if you’ve been coming here for years, why are you shy? Some people also will sit back and wait for everyone to come to them. If you have trouble getting around, again that’s understandable. But I’m afraid many of us are just in a rut. We come in, make a beeline for our seat. Speak to the same handful of people who sit around us, then leave.
This isn’t my idea. This is a command we find repeated over and over in the NT. Greet one another.
4. Grievance
Finally, maybe someone refuses to speak to someone else because that person has offended them in some way. Well, you need to address that. There are plenty of passages that talk about resolving issues. The one option we don’t have is to just let something fester and drive a wedge between us.
V. Conclusion
Hopefully you can see the importance of this simple command. Maybe you’ve got some work to do in this area. I really believe this is a warm and welcoming place. Let’s make sure no one is left out of that.
INVITATION
